Kiwification

“April 1: This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other 364.”
- Mark Twain

Its exact origins lost in the mists of time, April Fools day supposedly originated in the Middle Ages, during the change from the Julian calendar, the year ending 31 March, to the Gregorian Calendar, the year ending 31 Dec.

Those who “didn’t get the memo”, and continued celebrating New Years Day on 1 April, were considered “the fools”. They were mocked by friends, subject to “fake” ceremonies, and (in France), had dead fish placed on their backs.

New Zealanders, irreverent and light-hearted pranksters that they are, have pulled off a few classic pranks over there years:

The Great New Zealand Wasp Swarm of ‘49

Probably the most well-know Kiwi prank, ranking #27 in the Museum of Hoaxes, was perpetrated in 1949 by Phil Shone, famous DJ of radio station 1ZB. On April 1st, he alerted listeners to a mile-wide swarm of wasps heading for Auckland.

He advised them to protect themselves and their homes by taking measures such as wearing socks over their trousers when leaving for work, and laying honey-smeared traps outside their doors.

Hundreds of Kiwis followed this advice, until he finally admitted that it had all been a joke. The New Zealand Broadcasting Service was not amused by Shone’s prank. Its director, Professor James Shelley, denounced the hoax on the grounds that it undermined the rules of proper broadcasting.

Supposedly, from then on, a memo was sent out each year before April Fool’s Day reminding New Zealand radio stations of their obligation to report the truth, and nothing but the truth. (photo credit: bogenfreund)

New Zealand’s plummeting sheep population a major cause of global warming

“We have seen the future of climate — and it is Sheep.”
- Dr. Ewe Noh-Watt

While not a Kiwi prank per-se, RealClimate.org, a commentary site on climate science, released a report surmising that since sheep are white, and therefore reflect sunlight, the recent plummeting New Zealand sheep population is causing more sunlight to shine on the planet, causing an increase in absorbed Solar radiation, and thus warming the planet.

The wacky scientists, obviously enjoying themselves, included photos, graphs, and footnotes. It’s almost believable. (2007)

New Zealand’s historic Christchurch Anglican Cathedral to be demolished, parishioners to use Catholic Cathedral

A Christchurch local newspaper reported that the local Anglican cathedral was to be demolished after huge cracks had appeared, and that the parishioners were to join the local Catholic cathedral. Russian businessmen were reportedly to build a hotel and aquarium on the demolished Cathedral site. (Several people called the local Dean’s office, needing reassurance that it was joke.

New Zealand’s Protected Otago Royal Albatross’ to be dyed Mitre10-Orange

New Zealand’s Otago Daily Times claimed that a sponsorship and advertising deal had been done between the Mitre10 chain of hardware stores and the New Zealand Department of Conservation over the Otago Royal Albatross colony. The DoC would get funds to protect the birds, and in return the adult birds would be dyed in the chain’s corporate colour, orange.

New Zealand’s wet newspapers a “key weapon against flab”

The Otago Daily Times front page carried a story claiming German researchers had found an additive in printing ink that turned wet newspapers into “a key weapon in the fight against flab”.

“The back page of today’s April Fool’s Day issue was printed in a locally made vegetable-based fixing agent that burned fat when applied wet to skin”, the paper said.

The paper invited readers to test the claims by wrapping themselves in the moist back page.

New Zealand’s Steward Island to be sold to American Military

TV3’s Campbell Live show reported that the New Zealand government planned to sell a large part of the island to the United States, to host an air base supporting their operations in Antarctica. In the following show, the presenter John Campbell said that confused staff at the Prime Minister’s office had contacted them after receiving several complaints from the public about these plans. Campbell confirmed that the story was an April Fool’s Day hoax.

New Zealand’s Telecom to offer new “brick” mobile phone (with extra features)

Telecom ran a full-page ad, entitled “The brick is back…”, which featured a photograph of a boy holding a giant phone.

The brick phone offered earthquake protection, doubled as a dumbbell, provided shade on hot days and fitted easily in large trucks, the ad said. It comes in dynamic colours — beige, off white and bone — and costs “only $1999″.A freephone number at the bottom of the ad tipped off callers to the jape, saying the boat carrying the phones sank under their weight on the way to New Zealand.

New Zealand’s (cheeky) Tui advertise for “one man” to complement “woman-dominated” organization

The brewer Tui advertised a job for “one man” in its otherwise woman-dominated organization. The role involved wearing a labcoat, carrying a clipboard and getting endless mileage from the line “I’ll get this round” in the free bar, it said.

A workplace without facial hair could be a sad and lonely place, the “equal opportunity brewer” explained. (Single source, unconfirmed)

New Zealanders push a grounded freighter back to sea

Several residents on the Kapiti coast north of Wellington responded to a plea on a local radio station flocked to a beach to push a freighter that had run aground back out to sea. Listeners were told the Russian ship’s captain had a heart attack going through the Kapiti Island channel — a protected marine reserve — and the freighter had landed on Raumati beach. (Single source, unconfirmed, photo credit ClatieK)